This is awkward

I miss Akmal. 

O Allah, please take care of him, for me. Thank you Allah. 

Pau.

Hi. Any tips to get slimmer cheeks? Slimmer? Smaller? Ah whatever. Any tips? I NEED IT, seriously T_T

Hey you,

I think its time. I need to move on. I need to forget you. I need to accept that you won't be mine, ever. I know this sounds weird, but yeah, that's just it. Thanks for every sweet thing that you've done. And please, just go. I'm fine when thinking that you're just like other strangers that I may not know and I don't want to know. I'm fine, and I'll be fine. I believe, everything happens for reasons. And I deserve someone better. Thank you, you.

Hi, you.

4th February, 2009.

I texted you, saying that I gave up waiting for you and all. A text to apologize, to thank you, to confess. I had been waiting for you for, entahla, tak ingat. But one thing for sure, it was a long duration, quite long. I never gave up to text you, even though there was no reply, from you. Not a single Hi or what. But that day, I got so tired. And yes, a text, sent to you, to tell you that I gave up.

Today, 8th February 2012.

Last four days, 4th February 2012.

3 years. Eh no, 3 years plus, and yes, I'm still loving the same guy. I still have the same feeling I used to have for the same guy. I shouldn't. But, thats just it. It can't be forced, so what can I do? I tried to get rid of the feeling, but it is still there, so what can I do? I tried many times, and I failed.

Sikit ke, banyak ke, rasa tu still ada. Tak nak la.

Tak nak. Just tak nak.

Because I know, he doesn't feel the same as I do. He doesn't.

I know I can move on, but I just don't know when. I need to move on. I need to stop hoping since it won't be happening, at all. I need to realize that and get back on track. I just need to stop hoping and expecting. I just need to.

Good night people. Take care. And this is, random. I guess.

Semester 1

So, semester 1 has came to its end (Y) 

Behaviour Sciences punya block pun dah habis. Hihi. Exam pun dah habis hihi. Exam pun macam okay tapi tak yakin hihi. Okay boleh stop hihi hihi dah kut -___-

So, there'll be one week break and after Thaipussam, I'll be back to Cyberjaya, to start studying again and yes, new block which is Microbiology and Immunology. My friends and I will be learning about those microbes, those viruses, bacteria and all, plus the immunology, haish. Means, there will be more memorizing and understanding la lepas ni. But its okay. Everything will be fine if I have the strength, insyaAllah.

Tapi cuti tak best pun, kut. No Astro, no internet. Haih nak buat apa doooo cuti ni nak buat apa doooooooo aaaaarghh stress nya alaaaaa nak tengok Astro alaaaaaahai sadisnyaaaa T_T

Okay tu je. Sebenarnya ada post yang menyentuh perasaan sendiri. Tapi tengah tahan the desire nak post tu, nak post after 4 February nanti. Hmm. So take care adios!

22nd January 2012

Lets read a story. A short story.


22nd January. It was his 20th birthday. Nothing special that had been done on that day, I guess. There was just a watch, bought from Padini Authentics, and a card, and they were put in a black paper bag. Yes. Only those. I went to Jusco Cheras Selatan, just to buy those things, with Syuvynn as an accompany. After having Prosperity for brunch, I searched for a perfect gift that I should give this year. And yea, I bought a watch. It wasn't from Rolex, Bell & Ross or whatever, and it was not that expensive, but I liked it and I would like to see he wearing that watch that I bought. Yes. 


Wong Solo, Bangi. We went there for lunch. His lunch. No cake, nor candies, nor balloons. Only Ayam Penyet, Teh O' Ais, Air Kelapa Muda and Sirap Limau. 


Allah is great. Allah is amazing. He showed me the truth, that I'd never thought before. Well, I had thought about it, but only for several times. And I refused to believe or to think about it so much. 


And the truth was revealed. A guy, that you used to love and still loving, well, went to a club one night and danced with someone that you would describe as a bitch. And just think, how would you handle that kind of situation? On his birthday, and the truth was revealed, and you were upset, how would you handle it? Would you shout at him, cry, or just keep quiet?


I cried. I cried so hard. 


He begged. I didn't know what to say. He apologized. And I accepted his apology, and him.


Haih. What was that? Stupid or something that was just ugh.


I have no idea. Haih. Allah, please help me in making decisions. And please help him, in transforming him to a better person. Please make me strong, stronger than ever. Amin.


Thats all I've got to say. Good night. Sleep well. Take care. And my apologies, to all.

So, its January and MBBS

Last post, yang so last year tu (well, daa) tajuknya 'So Its December' so sekarang January. Nanti February, 'So its February' pula. Nanti March pastu April dan seterusnya. No, saya bukan nak ajar the 12 months in a year, no no. Saya nak cakap jeeeee, kasi panjang post *cute face*

Saya tahu la, belog saya ni, macam ________. Satu haram jadah tak post kan since last post. Pastu Husna selalu tanya bila nak update belog. Pastu dia selalu tweet macam ni, 'siapa yang ada blog tu, sila pergi update sekarang'. Mestila saya terasa, terasa bertanggungjawab nak buka belog lalu... zzz.  I'm such a _______. 

Well, actually, the thing is, hmm, how do I start this, hmm, how la how how.

K. The thing is... 

Takde benda pun sebenarnya!

Huahuahua lawak lawak lawak. Lawak tak lawak tak? Tak lawak pun kan sebenarnya. Saya tahu. Saya pun bukannya tengah gelak sekarang. Sebenarnya, saya tengah macam ni :|

Nak tahu taaaaaaak... (kalau taknak tahu, kena juga tahu sebab saya nak bagitahu ni. Hahaha padan muka kena tahu :p )

Okay okay, nak tahu taaaaaaaakk... sekarang dah habis block Pathology. Next block, which mean this Monday, block Behavioral Science pula. Behavioral Science, saya dan classmates akan belajar pasal Psychology, basically. Pasal motivation, stress and how to cope with it, benda macam tu la. Kamal mesti suka saya belajar benda ni, boleh cerita kat dia, hehehe :p So, I'll be learning about this for 3 weeks. Wajib dapat A kalau nak dapat 3.50. Tak harap pun masuk dalam Dean List, nanti Dean kenal ai, malu lah ai :3 Ai ni dah lah memang pemalu, tak boleh orang pandang, nanti ai sorok belakang ketiak Husna. Nasib baik ada Husna, tempat ai menutup muka malu (': Tapi kalau masuk, Alhamdulillah. Hopefully bolehla masuk, AMIIIIIIIIIIN

So first of all, let me tell you how this block system works. 

Satu sem, ada 5 block. Satu block, satu subject. For instance, Anatomy block, Physiology block and etc. Saya dah lepas 4 block dah la, to make long story short. Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry, Pathology, dah lepas dah (Y) Sekarang tinggal Behavioral Science and lepas ni, habislah satu sem. Baru habis satu sem tau. Ada lagi sembilan! SEMBILAN.

Tiba tiba rasa nak cerita belajar apa dalam semua block tu :3 Mintak izin!

Anatomy, hmm, belajar pasal badan la, generally. Pasal cell. Pasal kulit, tulang, all those things. Kitorang belajar pasal structures dalam badan. Lepas tu pasal baby dalam perut, macam mana boleh jadi baby, and about the mother sikit sikit.

Physiology, pasal, hmm, normal things that occur in our body. Macam mana tangan boleh bergerak, macam mana badan boleh control kalau ada apa apa. Semua pasal normal things, means orang sihat punya badan la, ahaaa.

Biochemistry. Hmm. Biasa la, senior kata subject ni paling susah. Killer subject. Sebab banyak mechanism. Tapi tah, best tau sebenarnya. Boleh tahu makanan kita tu jadi apa nanti (energy). Macam mana boleh ada fats, pastu pasal vitamin, deficiency of nutritions, pasal DNA semua. Best tau. Rasa macam wow! Pastu tiba tiba rasa nak jaga pemakanan sebab dah tahu kalau makan semua benda jadi apa -____-

Pathology belajar pasal the abnormalities. Opposite dengan Physiology. Belajar pasal penyakit, cancer, TB, semua benda tu la. Freaky la sikit. Kalau orang yang cepat geli geli, dah boleh pengsan lah kut tiba tiba dalam class, paling kurang pun, muntah. Serious ni >:| Pastu dah belajar Pathology, hmm, tah la, saya jadi paranoid. Saya takut kawan saya yang smokers (active or passive) kena apa apa yang menakutkan. Saya takut Papa Mama kena apa apa. And I guess thats why I always tell stories to them, about Pathology. Kat Papa, saya cerita kalau gula and BP naik apa jadi. Kat Kamal, saya cerita macam mana smoking tu boleh rosakkan badan. Everything, almost everything.

So, basically, macam tu lah. Memang, medicine memang one of the courses yang paling susah atas muka bumi. Memang, tak tipu ni. Siapa nak belajar ni, memang kena kuat, kena rajin, kena pandai manage time, bila nak main main, bila nak belajar. One thing for sure, hari hari kena belajar, macam yang lain la. Tapi tah la, kena rajin baca. Baca pun tak boleh as fast as the light. Dia kena slow slow, word by word, baru faham. Tapi kalau orang yang baca laju macam Flash tu, untung lah. But, for me, alahai, satu chapter, nak habis kan, boleh la dalam 3-4 jam. Campur dengan masa tergedik gedik nak tweet nya, makan minum nya, stare kat dinding, berak lagi, etc. Haaaa. Belajar medicine, memang kena banyak sabar. Memang menguji kesabaran saya yang tak berapa sabar orangnya. Tapi, kenalah bersabar and have faith. Memang wajib! Tu belum masuk phase housemanship lagi. Dengan working hour nya, seniors nya, memang kena sabar. Tapi, macam Fatin Liyana cakap la, 

"Next time, please la never mess with medical students because we are emotionless and immortal." - Fatin Liyana

Ha betul! Dia jadi macam ignorance or kuat sangat sampai kalau kena apa apa pun kan, sakit hati dia kejap je, kejap sangat! Sebab banyak benda lagi nak fikir dari fikir benda remeh. Serious, tak tipu. Lagipun saya dengar lagu You Only Live Once dan 11th Dimension hari hari kut (Y)

K sambung. Kalau sekarang, kena baca banyak satu hal. Ada SCTL lagi. Masa memang banyak sebab class habis awal. 12:30 dah habis dah. Tapi tah, masa makan, masa tidur, pastu masa makan tu lepak lama lama, buat kedai tu macam parents punya pula tu. Pastu masa online, kita rasa 30 minit je, tengok tengok 2 jam rupanya :O K takyah muka terkejut pun takpe, biasa lah tu. Memang banyak buang masa la -____- Sebab tu la kena pandai manage masa. And sacrifice. 

"Ya Allah, kau tabahkan la hatiku, kentalkan jiwaku, bukalah pintu kesabaran bagiku. Amin"

So, itu saja for this time. Panjang lah pula tiba tiba post ni -____- Biarlah, bila je lagi nak post panjang panjang. Selalunya busy, busy doing nothing. Eh busy lah tu :p Tapi memang busy sebenarnya, taktahu la buat apa sampai boleh claim busy ni -____-

Thats all for now, take care fellas!